My suitcase from a trip I did a month ago is still on the bedroom floor. Dust bunnies are swirling under the bed, dancing to the tune of my neglect. The kitchen floors need a scrubbing yet when coffee escape over the edges of my cup, I wipe it with my sock.
My plan was to take a break now, enjoy some me time after weeks of travel and hard work. But I find it difficult to focus, and when I’m not working there’s this nagging feeling that I should. I get so much joy from the other crafts I’m exploring now; pottery and sketching. But as soon as I start getting better at it, I feel that I shall make it a part of my business. Another leg to stand on, another egg in the basket.
But I’m incredibly tired and all I want to do is create without pressure, just for me. But if I’m not making money, taking care of things in the home or working out – then I don’t feel productive. And there are things I should post on Instagram… I don’t want to, I don’t care. But I have to. Something that used to be so fun feels awful right now.
Where am I going with all this? I guess that life is not perfect. What you see on social media is never the whole reality of someones life. I lead an amazing life, and I get to work with my passion – but that does not mean it is always great. Work is always work in the end and right now I am going through quite the dip. I’ve exhausted my creativity, inspiration and drive.
For three weeks I went between different kinds of photographic work in Ireland, Denmark and Spain / France. Oh I know, woe is me – I got to travel a bunch. It was fun, don’t get me wrong! But I also wrote about the downside to traveling and feeling homesick here. Because it is more nuanced than what one might think.
There is a lot I want. Do more of, do differently. I’ve started prepping my bullet journal for next year, and I’ve made a spread of goals and waypoints for 2023. But I always find that the willpower to stay structured, to focus and actually pull things off is hard to find. And I put too much pressure on myself. I will try and report on my progress as I go along. If I say I shall write about it here, maybe it’ll help keep me on track?
Well, here are some of my goals and thoughts on how to achieve them:
- Decide a day a week where I am not allowed to sit in front of the screen
- Start my day with coffee & sketching
- Spend more evenings in the workshop with Dan instead of watching tv
be more productive
- leave the phone on silent in the kitchen when working
- break tasks down into smaller part goals
- work on “done is better than nothing”
- procrastinate less: shorter workdays that are more effective leave more time for crafts, cooking or practicing music
How are you guys feeling these days? I hope you are well, but it’s important to remember that it’s okay to feel tired, to not clean your home and to rest and not really do anything for a while. It’s okay.